I’m trying this one out.

20 +20+20=60. With the help of a timer. 20 mins. biology. 20 min. break. 20 mins. english. Repeat.

It is a new study regime I’m trying. I procrastinate.

I just want to pass my courses. Really, I do. I’m not looking for A’s or B’s. I just want C’s. (ya, I know, I’m such an over-achiever) But when all of your grades border on a C/C-, that means you really have to study to pass. Or fear taking the whole bloody course(s) over again.

(no gracias, por favor).

Last night I failed the study regime. I got past 20 mins. and then stopped for the rest of the night and watched Project Runway with H. I tried to cry ‘cuz I felt so bad, but all I could feel was guilty. No tears. Sometimes I think I can just scrunch my face up and bury my head into H’s chest and just whimper for a little bit and that will magically make me cry. Go figure. Fail. I also seem to think that crying will make everything feel better ‘cuz then I’ll feel like a victim instead of just a plain ol’ lazy a**. It never works. I just gotta accept that I can be a good ol’ plain ol’ lazy a**. And just move on from it.

So it’s about 5:20 pm on a Friday night. H is working. I’m blogging. Then I’m eating dinner. Then I’m gonna press 20:00 on my microwave and just do it. I’m gonna get messy. I will probably cry (for-real-this-time). I’m trying to curb my swearing phase I’m in, but I’m not sure how well I’ll be doing tonight. But I’m just gonna do the work. damnit.

Cheer me on to the finish line…

(gracias, por favor)



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