There are very few, amazing things that make me come alive. Those things that make me tick. One of those amazing “life-ticking” things that makes me want to soar and fly is when someone speaks truth. A truth-speaker. I don’t know – I just love honesty. Some of the most awe-filled moments in my life happen when someone speaks truth deeply into my life. And some people do it just-oh- so poetically to boot.
Like Meg @ http://apracticalwedding.com/. There have been some wonderful young ladies that are amazing… and have pondered the same kind of questions and have worried the same kind of worries regarding marrying when you’re too *young*poor*immature*in school*no house*no job*whatever excuse you wanna put next*too too too ______.
I’m so bad at verbalizing the deep values I hold in my heart sometimes. I don’t quite know what to say when a worry like that is asked by a woman. But thanks to Meg, this is how I will answer next time…
Oh, and the title of her post?
“F*ck the Economy. Get married Now!” (love it)
Q: How do you know when you’re ready to get married? We decided that we would start actually planning the wedding once we were in a good life position. We wanted to wait until we had secure jobs and were in a good position to move in together. Unfortunately, things have not worked out well. How can you plan a future when you have no idea where your future is going?
We are so frustrated right now, because we just want to be married, and yet we know it’s the “smart” and “responsible” thing to wait until we know what’s going on in our lives. It seems silly to get married without knowing what our future is… but I can’t help but feel that no matter what happens, we know that we’re going to get married – should we let those uncertainties about the future dictate our plans? And is it stupid to get married if there’s a chance that we won’t be able to move in together for another six months or so?
Should we just be patient, or should we just go ahead and get hitched, disregarding what other people will think or say? Help!
Meg’s Answer: Ok lady. You know how they say that life is what happens while you’re busy making plans? That’s actually true. As you wait and wait for the perfect moment, life is happening. Right now. So a few thoughts:
First, there is no perfect moment, ever. If you’re waiting for everything to be ‘right,’ you could wait a long time. Second, the reason we get married is to tie our destiny to someone else. It’s to vow to be with them for better or for worst – to stay with them when they are unemployed, to figure out how to make do when things get really tough. That’s the power of the marriage vow. It’s saying, “Even though I have no idea what the future will hold, I want to tie my life to yours anyway.” When you’re ready to make the promise, you’re ready to get married. Period.
Sure. Maybe you wait till you can live together, maybe you work out some specific details. But you don’t wait and wait for something vague on the horizon. Maybe it takes your husband a year to find a job he likes. Fine. That’s a year you can spend married, supporting each other both literally and figuratively, or that’s a year you can spend apart, waiting. But it’s still going to take him the time it takes him to find a great job. Not getting married won’t change that. And trust me, supporting each other is something I know a little about.
Most of us here grew up during a prolonged economic boom. We got used to the idea that marriage was more about economic better than economic worse. We got used to the idea that you get a good job, you get everything lined up, and then you get married. But that’s not how life is anymore for many of us. We seem to have forgotten that when times get hard, that is the very best time to become a family. That is the very best time to combine forces and try to make it together. That’s what our grandparents did, and our great grandparents did. They took each other in worse, and worked together to create better.
It reminds me how blessed I am to be married to my amazing husband, to combine forces and make things work together and loving each other no matter what – regardless of how young we were are, and how much little money we have.